Low-FODMAP Parsnip Sweet Potato Soup

Hello!

It's time for my first Low-FODMAP recipe.

I have been wanting to make a delicious creamy sweet potato soup for a while now. It's been snowing everyday for a month on the East Coast, and work is cancelled almost literally every other day so WTF else I am supposed to do than get bored, make soup, and decide to make a stupid nicheblog. Well, it's an excellent time for 'self-care'! And that means...being intentional about consolidating my poops into a firmer log (and doing yoga, duh.)

I am an improvisational chef by nature, which means I like to throw shit together, not write it down or measure it, and see what works. I realize that's not what most blog readers are looking for. (Although may I recommend Sally Schneider's, 'The Improvisational Chef,' for those who are looking to master flavor combinations and techniques that can be used for all sorts of new and creative recipes on the fly! Because if you cant fucking eat garlic??? Girl gotta learn to think on her feet.) ANYWAY, I will attempt to get better with specifics with time. (this is also what I tell the person who runs my expense reports at work?)

For now, here's what went through my brain as I cooked this soup.

RECIPE

Ingredients:

4 medium sweet potatoes
2 medium parsnips
3 medium-small carrots
Olive oil
Scallions (only the green part, because the white part will poison you.)
Salt
Pepper
Paprika
Ground Coriander
Chipotle pepper or something like it
Thyme
Cayenne Pepper
Cumin
1 inch ginger chunk
1 14 oz can whole tomatoes
2 boxes of chicken/vegetable/whatever stock you like
A jalapeno pepper (or less, if youre weak)
A handful of cilantro
1 cup unsweetened almond milk (i accidentally used unsweetened vanilla, but I recommend plain. )

Garnish (all optional EXCEPT TAHINI DONT SKIP IT IT'S SOOOOO GOOD):

Sunflower seeds
Tahini
More Cilantro


Tools:
Immersion blender or regular blender
Large soup caldron


Instructions:

Peel carrots and parsnips. Slice sweet potatoes down the middle lengthwise, so your vegetables are pretty close to similar sizes. Roast the vegetables at 350 *on a foil lined baking sheet. Let them roast until you can easily slide a knife into the sweet potatoes.

While roasted root veggies are cooling, heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil in a soup pot. Slice up a lot of scallions (only until you get down to the white part. remember, our goal for today is NO PANTS POOPING) and peel and grate your ginger. Chop up your jalapeno pepper.  Throw the scallions into the olive oil. Let them cook for a bit. Then throw the rest of the spices in there, except cilantro. Note: You can use any spices you want here. Mine kind of tasted Mexican-ish. But if I had had some of my yet-to-be-(home)made garlic-and-onion-free Indian spice blends, I would have used those.

Don't let the spices burn, ya big dummy! When they become fragrant, pour your broth over them. Then pour in can of tomatoes. Let that mixture simmer for a bit, but cover it, i think??

While your cauldron is bubbling a bit,  cut up your roasted vegetables into manageable chunks. Also, slide those little sweet potato babies out of their skins. Plop them into the soup (you are going to be immersion blending this, so dont worry much about cutting shit up, as long as your blender can blend them.

Let the roasted veggies cook for like 10 minutes in the broth stuff, just to make sure they're soft and blendable. Then, throw 4/5 of your chopped bunch of cilantro in! THEN BLEND EVERYTHING A LOT!

Cook the soup some. Then add the cup of almond milk. You COULD eat it right away, but I let mine cook for a while in case flavors mature or something. Don't cook it on too high a temperature so the almond milk gets really weird. Although, i boiled mine because I like food temps really high and the soup was really stable and never separated.

Ladle your soup into a bowl. Spoon a delicious and beautiful spoon of tahini on it. Also put sunflower seeds or crushed almonds and chopped cilantro on it.


NOW YOU HAVE A GOURMET MEAL! And a gourmet meal that shouldn't secretly use the evil power of osmosis to force you to spend the rest of your day squatting painfully over the john.

Toilet Rating: 0 toilets! I had no pooping problems after eating this soup (for every meal for every day for 3 days while I was snowed in.)


AN: Yeah i know these pictures are horribs. Click on some ads or something so I can afford a DSLR and camera lessons.

FODMAP 101 & YOU (& me...)

Alright, guys. Let's talk about FODMAPs. So far, its been the diet (eating style) that seems to be working best for me to avoid uncomfortable intestinal issues.

Let's discuss food! This PDF from Standford has proven to be most helpful to me as I investigate a FODMAP-free lifestyle. Here is a brief overview, quoted from Stanford Medical Center:

"FODMAPs are osmotic (means they pull water into the intestinal tract), may not be digested or absorbed well and could be fermented upon by bacteria in the intestinal tract when eaten in excess. Symptoms of gas, bloating, cramping and/or diarrhea may occur in those who could be sensitive to the effects of FODMAPs. A low FODMAP diet may help reduce symptoms, which will limit foods high in fructose, lactose, fructans, galactans and polyols. "

The FODMAPs in many diets are:

• Fructose (fruits, honey, high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), etc) 
• Lactose (soft dairy) 
• Fructans (wheat, onion, garlic, etc)(fructans are also known as inulin)  
• Galactans (beans, lentils, legumes such as soy, etc) 
• Polyols (sweeteners containing sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol, maltitol, stone fruits such as avocado, apricots, cherries, nectarines, peaches, plums, etc)

So, the above means it's necessary to cut many fruits (apples, applesauce, stone fruit), soft dairy (milk, sour cream, cottage cheese, ricotta, brie), wheat/gluten (gluten-free diets are popular enough that I'm not going to go into extreme detail), oniony things( onions, garlic, leeks), cruciferous veggies (brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower), legumes (peanuts, garbanzo beans, soy, other beans), FAKE SUGAR! ( high fructose corn syrup, honey, agave, also all fake sugar although some are allowed but why eat it??).

Wow...that's a lot to mull over. And at first, the list seems really random, especially when you compare it to Paleo...where you just cut out whole groups of foods (ie. grains and dairy) but have the freedom to eat unlimited amount of any fruits and vegetables you want. But there is some overlap (no gluten, no legumes, weird sugars, yes to delicious almond milk & MEATS) and some add-ins (reasonable quantities of non-gluten grains & corn--YES!! & harder cheeses -YESSSSSS!!!!, no restrictions on oils, and you can eat regular sugar....) and some no-nos (coconut & coconut milk, avocados, onions, garlic, apples, cruciferous veggies).

To give you some background on me +  Paleo...I was eating a LITERAL SHIT TON of broccoli, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, dried fruit, onions, garlic and apples. And I couldn't figure out WHAT I was eating that was making my bowels just let loose completely immediately after eating. Like, I could feel my intestines pulling in water and unleashing a torrent of liquids within 10 minutes of eating many of my meals. It felt real bad and I had a lot of emergency situations. So, the whole pulling water into your intestines thing sounded really reasonable to me. 

My favorite recipe was a shaved brussel sprout salad with red onions, apples, avocados and golden raisins. Um WOW WHAT. That is a recipe for my personal toilet disaster!!!!

Low-FODMAP does present some formidable challenges for the intrepid chef and diner. Like, NO ONIONS OR GARLIC?????? That is really hard! Onions and garlic are the basis for nearly all dishes I madeat home, and just try finding food without hidden onions or garlic in a restaurant. Weirdly, eating in restaurants is way harder on low-fodmap than on Paleo (on Friday I went to an Indian restuarnt and ONLY ATE RICE.). Store bought spice blends & spices pastes are pretty much out of the picture. Also, say goodbye to coconut milk curry & delicious apple and almond butter breakfasts!

So, let's lets get started. I have about 4 recipes that I have some crappy pictures of, and I'll post them over the next few days. 

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Feel free to share!

My Watery Little Bowels: The beginning

Hello Early Readers!

There probably aren't many of you out there yet, so get ready to see IntestinalBS blossom and grow over the next few months.

I am starting this blog to document my struggles with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). Maybe one day I'll learn about the science of it, but essentially every time I eat, I poop my brains out. Why would this be? I HAVE NO IDEA! I have some postulations and theories, but right now I am trying all kinds of crazy diets to figure it out.

I tried inflammation diets like Paleo and #Whole30. My pants pooping got worse. I am trying FODMAP and it has lessened my bowelsplosions. My mom says to do Bananas Rice Applesauce and Toast. ugh WHAT!!!!! What kind of life/two days would that be???? I couldnt even do it for 3 days. I also refuse to eliminate any foods that are extremely flavorful.  Like--no I am notttttt going to stop eating spicy peppers and hot sauce and delicious spices and herbs. That is basically my only deal breaker--sauces. ugh sad.

I have a lot of trouble sticking to diets that eliminate foods I like a lot. So I end up eating whatever I want most of the time???? Perhaps if I am documenting it, this blog can hold me accountable to myself, to the readers, and to Goddess(es). I am also hoping that I can also look back and see patters or trends over time.

SO. GET READY FOR A WILD RIDE OF TALKING ABOUT POOP! AND FOOD! AND CRAZY RECIPES! AND PEEING OUT MY BUTT EVERYDAY! AND I HOPE A LOT OF FART JOKES!?!??!! And stories about me pooping my pants and in bed at inappropriate times. And probably intermittent rants about socialism?? Even though I suppose food bloggers are supposed to steer clear of political discussion, so as not to distract from the issue at hand (my poop) and not to alienate readers. I'll do my best. (but if you suspect I'm making a coded joke about the imminent failure of capitalism, it's because I actually am.)

Also expect a lot of bad photography, at least at the outset of this blogscursion. I am not currently thinking I will photograph my own poop--but am open if people feel like those images will help them, or me, gain insight into what is making me poop my pants.

NO PAIN NO GAIN.

LETS DO THIS.

HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS. so you don't poop immediately.

This is me! Kate! I am wearing all my coworkers hand-me-downs, 

and the first robe I've ever loved.

Do you have IBS? Or any mysterious pooping problems?? I'd love to hear about it! Let's just start the Healthy Poops community!